This
Just In!

Dad:
Ladies and gentlemen of the Kentucky Section of the United States Tennis Association, distinguished members of the board of the KTA, fellow honorees, esteemed referees and officials, junior players, adult league players, recreational players and the tennis loving public at large. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for this wonderful award. It is with great humility that I, the patriarch of the Gerlach family accept this most prestigious of superlatives, and, since it is I who taught the rest of this fine family everything that I know about the incredible game of tennis, and because I am still the most talented of the clan, I am here to represent this family and our accomplishments as well as to…
Taylor:
Dad, give me that microphone, what in the world do think you’re doing??? And what on earth do you mean that you are still the most talented in the family??? I just beat you 0 and 1 on Wednesday.
Dad:
I had a bad day!!!
Taylor:
More like a bad month…I beat you 0 and 0 two weeks ago and you hardly got a point the week before that. If anything…you are the worst in the family now.
Dad:
But I am still competitive and…
Hunter:
Dad let’s face it youv’e been a great tennis father and you’ve paid the bills but I don’t exactly think that you are the pro of the family.
Dad:
Well it has cost me a lot of money, I mean all the lessons, the rackets, the strings, the shoes, a stringer, the balls the travel, the country club…
Hunter:
I mean, c’mon dad, we took lessons from the best. Rob Spencer, Larry Kline, Brian Martin, Meg Peavey, Clay Schulhafer, Chris Mather, Greg Stephenson, Greg Combs and Michael O’Shea just to name a few. And dad, all of us have even taught lessons. And I’m sorry dad I heard that mom beats you regularly when you’re on vacation.
Dad:
Well that’s not fair…she played tennis for the University of Ky, and she won the girls state 18 & under JC doubles
in Ohio, sat in the chair for Jimmy Connors and she IS STILL a RIVER CITY QUEEN!…I just played baseball…
Dylan:
Oh please dad, YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!! We all started beating you when we were twelve…and I think in Ellie’s case it was when she was in the ten and unders. But you did give us that competitive fire. Remember all of those St. X / Manual high school matches…remember how you loved to hate them?
Dad:
Yeah, that St. Xaiver program..what a Ky. tennis legend…learned a lot from those guys and they really worked hard with Ellie this summer. I really appreciate that. Those were great battles, huh boys? Both friends and enemies…I guess you call them frenemies. What passion, what emotion the game of tennis provides!
Jo Ellen:
We’ve gotten a lot of pleasure and satisfaction from the game of tennis too. Just think, Hunter you and your lovely wife Rachael Lask Gerlach wouldn’t have met if not for tennis.
Hunter:
Yeah we met at LTC at a JD clinic. She comes from a great tennis family too, with her parents George and Amy Lask. We all traveled in juniors together. Then we both went on to play at Murray State University where I got to play for the great Mel Purcel and Rachael and her twin sister Anna, were the winningest players ever. Love at first sight huh Rach?
Rachael:
Well I don’t know about that…if you remember I set you up with my friend first!
Taylor:
(sarcastically) Yeah Hunter, sounds like a REAL, TRUE, love story to me.
Ellie:
(whistfully) Yes Rachael, but you fell for my big brother Hunter in the end.
Jo Ellen:
And he proposed to you in France at Roland Garros on Centre Court. With the ring in a custom made tennis ball case! How romantic!!!
Dylan:
Yeah we’re a serious tennis family alright! We even have our own fan base.Uncle Chuck and Aunt Sandy were at every match.
Jo Ellen:
Hey Rachael, any thoughts on any little new tennis players on the way?
Rachael:
Not yet…but hopefully I finish my doctorate in December…
Ellie:
Yeah Hunter, we’ll see if you can win at… LOVE!
Rachael:
You know the little kids play QUICK START TENNIS now. With the softer balls and small courts…
Dad:
Remember when we did that with the kids in the driveway…see I told you I was ahead of my time as a tennis instructor.
Taylor:
Chip, how many times do I have to tell you, you are not a teaching pro!!!
Ellie:
That’s okay dad, you can string my rackets anytime!
Dad:
Sweetheart, now that you play for the University of Louisville, that is one thing that I am NOT going to miss…
Dylan:
Dad, no offense, but you really aren’t that good at that either! I remember the time in Tuscon at the Copper Bowl when a warmup pro that I was hitting with picked up my racket and saw a skipped string and said I don’t know who strings your rackets but they don’t know what they’re doing!
Hunter:
Dad, I taught you how to string, and as I remember you were kind of a slow learner.
Dad:
Think of the positive, will you? Look at all the places we’ve gone and people we’ve met such as Sharon Rahman, the Hodge family, the English family, the Chow family, the Dallas family, Joe the referee, Tim Smith, Jeff Mallory, the Newstadts, Abbie Mather, the Lancasters, and so many others, all because I, with a little help from your mother, had the foresight and vision to make us a tennis family.
Jo Ellen:
Actually, your’e wrong about that too, Chip! You’re father Harold Gerlach and my dad Gerald Kincaid first planted the tennis seeds.
Dylan:
You got that folks…that’s Harold and Gerald (sarcastically).
Taylor:
Yeah Chip…give credit where credit is due.
Dad:
I must admit that back in the days of the tennis boom of the seventies my dad took up this wonderful sport over at The Village Indoor Racket Club that was owned by Bobby Cooper of the famous Cooper family.
Ellie:
And I hear grandpa Kincaid got you and your sisters lessons at the local park in Springfield Ohio…hey mom, way back when is it true that Nick Bolettierri was the local pro there?
Jo Ellen:
Yes dear, WAY BACK WHEN! (deliberately)
Ellie:
Anyway, that’s cool, I guess we’ve all learned from the very best pros…
Dad:
You got that right Ellie, as I said at the beginning…I taught all of you along with a little help from the local tennis community.
Jo Ellen:
Dear, aren’t you forgetting just one thing?
Dad:
What’s that honey?
Jo Ellen:
I taught you!!!
Unison:
We’re all one big happy tennis family!!! ( enthusiastically)